College Admission Appeals

     As college admission decisions roll out, some of them come with bad news. The bad news a student did not get into the college of their choice can be very upsetting to a whole family and those people might struggle to understand that rejection. They might be inclined to not accept that rejection and attempt to appeal their admission decision. Every college has a process for that but there are some important things to consider.

      The first thing to know is, well, don’t get your
hopes up. When colleges review applications, they make a firm decision. In most cases, there might be some black and white criteria that go into it but there is also usually a lot of objectivity. I talk to parents who want to know why their child didn’t get into their favorite college. They ask, “what was the reason?” as they bang their fists on the table. The question is not that simple to answer. I kind of like to think of the process as being similar to the way I choose a meal off a menu at a restaurant. Sometimes I want chicken, sometimes I want a burger, sometimes I want noodles, sometimes I want tacos. I don’t have a rubric or set criteria that determine where or what I eat. It’s just sort of an overall feeling of I like this today or I don’t like that. So it is with application decisions.
     

     Once I’ve made my decision about where to eat and I’ve driven to the restaurant, and sat at a table, I’m probably not going to change my mind and suddenly switch from tacos to Italian. I’d probably only do so under some pretty extenuating circumstances. Again, so it is with applications and decisions. In order for a decision appeal to be granted, your reason for your request needs to be something fairly unique and difficult to control. “But she’s such a great student,” or “This is his grandfather’s alma mater,” are not likely to cut it. Granted appeals usually result from reasons more compelling like “My chemotherapy prevented me from focusing on my grades during my junior year,” or “After my dad died and we lost our house, I was doing the best I could in the classroom while working three jobs so my siblings could eat.” See the difference in those types of reasoning for an appeal?

     If you don’t have a really good reason like that, don’t hold your breath. A college has invested time in reviewing you and making their decision. If you don’t have some information that can meaningfully alter the scope of what they have already seen, it is unlikely your appeal will be granted. I tell the families I work with that ask me about appeals that it’s time to move on. I think the time and energy spent on that appeal would be better spent researching other options and adjusting to the idea of somewhere else. If a student spends the spring of their senior year pinning their hopes on something that is very unlikely to happen, they won’t be emotionally preparing for what is most likely to happen and that can translate to more negative experiences down the road.

School Choice

Around the turn of the twenty-first century, a new concept began to grow in prominence in American education. We might know the umbrella term for that concept as school choice, but school choice can come in a wide variety of forms and the differences in those forms can be confusing to those who don’t work in education. 

To simply define school choice, we can just say it is the existence of programs, organizations, or institutions that offer an alternative to traditional schools. As American schools are most clearly governed at the state level, each state has addressed school choice by now but the approach to that has varied significantly.

In some ways, school choice has been around for a long time. Students have always had the choice to attend private or parochial schools instead of traditional public schools and more recently, home schooling has been an option. Those still are options, but now students might choose to attend a charter school which is a school that receives public funding but is operated outside of traditional government control. Students who do attend a traditional school but one that has been regarded as producing poor results might now have the option to attend a different and presumably better school even if they do not live in that school’s attendance zone. Online schools have seen a meteoric rise in popularity as well, as those students usually have the ability to work and learn at their own pace and in their own time. 

The problem with some of these options is that they might cost money. How or why would a student pay tuition at a school if the public school was available for free. After all, as a taxpayer, it could be frustrating to pay taxes that funds the schools if you choose to not send your children there. In response to those sentiments, financial programs that surround school choice have been created by a number of states. Again, the extent of these can vary greatly from one state to the next. In some states, families and corporations are granted tax breaks if they contribute to organizations that provide scholarships to K-12 students that attend alternative schools. In other places, K-12 tuition might simply be a tax credit reported on a family’s state income tax.

In other places still, students might be able to participate in a school voucher program. In this case, a student can apply for a voucher from a state that they may use to pay their tuition at a private or online school. About 18 states have voucher programs and there is an array of criteria to qualify for them. In Florida, where I live, one voucher program requires a student to have a disability that is documented with either an IEP or 504 plan. Another, requires a student’s family to fall under an income threshold. 

The important thing for any family to know is that options exist for their child’s education. Families should explore these options as they decide which educational route is best for their child.

December Graduation

When we think about high school graduations, we generally associate that as something that happens in the months of May or June. However, there are an increasing number of students who desire to graduate in December or at the conclusion of their seventh semester. This can be a great option for some students but there are some important advantages and disadvantages to consider.


To begin, I should say that school policy on December graduation can vary from one high school to the next, so families should familiarize themselves with those policies before they spend too much time considering this option. It’s also a decision that should be well thought out and made in concert with good and timely communication with the school. It’s not a decision you can make at Thanksgiving dinner and then show up at school and announce, “I think I want to graduate in a couple of weeks.” It takes some planning and strategizing.


The biggest advantage for a senior grad is that it frees them up for the spring semester to either go ahead and enroll in college in January or simply work in preparation of perhaps starting college later. In the case of the former, students should apply as would any other student. They just need to indicate they plan to start in the upcoming January. Be careful, this might be a separate application than what other seniors are filling out during the fall. December grads might need to use last year’s application. Just make sure you’re paying close attention to dates and years. December grads are eligible for financial aid but they will fill out a different application than their fellow seniors as the FAFSA calendar begins in fall in ends in the summer. For both of these processes, it is once again crucial that students make a decision about a December graduation early on.


The cons of graduating early lie mostly in the fact that it just runs counter to the calendar of everything else that happens at a school. So, a student who is starting college for the first time in January might not have as robust of an initial college experience as a student starting in the fall or summer. The other students are in the swing of things by January, new relationships have already formed, December grads might be choosing housing from among the leftovers, orientation programs might not exist or be scaled back, it’s just not quite the same. There are also some fun goings on at the high school that a student might miss out on during the last semester depending on the school. Maybe those things wouldn’t be of interest to the student and none of these might be deal breakers, but they are worth taking into account.


Graduating in December is the right fit for many students. However, it doesn’t work for everyone and wrapping things on the early side is not a decision that should be made on the spur of the moment. It takes a lot of research, planning, and communication to get it right.

Teens and Careers

 I have people in the community approach me all the time and say “Hey, my industry has a huge need for people who do this niche thing. They can make a zillion dollars. So, tell your students.” The problem here is that that niche thing probably isn’t very exciting and if it’s not very exciting, it’s really hard to get a 17-year-old to buy into that for a career. However the truth is that few of us adults end up in the “glory” careers so many teens covet. Instead we end up as school counselors, or airport gate agents, or vinyl window salesmen, or claims adjusters, or whatever. Most of us end up in some job that’s probably not all that exciting but it pays the bills.


It's really hard for an adult with a little wisdom and who might not work a lot with teens to accept that a young person doesn’t want to follow the jobs in demand and just make a lot of money. But, It’s really hard for a young person to toss away their dreams and accept the reality that most of our jobs kinda aren’t all that cool.


Therefore, I think it might be a little futile to ask a young person “what do you want to be when you grow up. Likewise, It is my belief that trying to convince a 16-year-old that some inane (aren’t they all), but well paying job is the way to go is a waste of time. That 16-year-old probably needs to get out in the real world and realize that we can’t all be doctors and screenwriters, and that bussing tables might pay your high school bills, but it doesn’t pay your grown up bills.


I think we need to think differently about how we talk to young people about careers. In this sense, a high school student is still a kid. They don’t know what they want to do (most of them). So, we just need to tell them that they need more education and skills training in something that interests them. The job they land can vary greatly in its daily tasks and it doesn’t have to be the same job forever. For example, a person with a business degree can do so many jobs and a person who trains in plumbing might just sell pipes and toilets at a home improvement store or work to support a municipal water supply.



Ultimately, I think we’re often missing the mark when we push careers too hard on teens. Instead, as a society I believe we need to do a better job of counseling 20-year-olds. Don’t just tell your local school counselor about good career leads. Grab someone a little way out of high school and tell them. Write it on the back of a receipt at a restaurant. Tell your nephew, the girl at the car wash, the neighbor’s kid who still lives at home, someone who has had a chance to get out into the real world and get a little hungry, because honestly, most teens just aren’t there yet.

Moms and Sons in The Afternoon

In my line of work as a school counselor, I spend a fair amount of time meeting with students and their parents and working to help them see the other’s perspective. One of the greatest schisms I see is mothers and their sons who are reluctant to do homework or additional school work outside of the regular hours allotted for a student who might participate in online school. Over time and with some personal experience, I’ve developed a theory about this problem that has lead me to a very simple solution.


Much of the problem is rooted in the difference between men and women. I should say also that as I man, I think women are more efficient workers and just might have a better work ethic than man. I believe women do a better job weaving their home life and their work life in and out of each other, while these tend to be two distinct areas for men.


These differences are critical and they are seen in the following scenario where problems arise. A young man is done with school for the day. He heads to his bedroom, looking to unwind and switch into “home mode.” Before he can even get his shoes off, mom comes in and starts asking about homework. “What do you have to do for math? Does your club have a meeting on Thursday? Don’t you need to study for science?, etc.”


To mom, she hasn’t seen her son all day. She wants the scoop on what needs to be done and it only makes sense to her to get those obligations out of the way and then her son can relax. To the son, these questions make his head feel like it's going to explode. He is trying to change gears and forcing him back to school mode now isn’t going to end well. Since he is a young male teenager, he’s probably not awesome at responding maturely. He says something he shouldn’t. Mom and son frustrate each other and this happens every single afternoon.


Sound familiar? If it does, keep reading. Here is what is happening. Think of the son’s mind as a computer. After the school day, it has to reboot and enter into home mode. He needs a little time to relax and switch out of school before he can get into homework. You know how when your computer is updating it says “Installing updates. Do not turn off your computer.”? Well, all those questions at the wrong time about school are the equivalent of interrupting the updates and it’s going to make the son’’s central processor lag for the rest of the day.


However, the questions mom has are important and they need to be asked. That’s mom’s job and I’m not at all suggesting she step away from that responsibility. What’s critical here is the timing. Here’s the fix. Mothers should lay out ground rules for their sons and their afternoons. “Son, studying for tests and homework are things that have to be done. But, I know you are tired right when you are done with school for the day. So, I’m going to give you 30 or 45 minutes to wind down and switch gears then I’m going to need to ask you some questions so I know what we have to do before tomorrow and I’m going to expect you to get those things done.”



From there, it’s just a matter of doing exactly what you said you were going to do. Moms, I know you are so curious about your son’s day but just wait 30 minutes before you play 20 questions. Let his computer reset and I promise you’ll see a huge difference in his productivity and in your relationship.

Calculating the EOC

When it comes to considering financial aid for college, one of the most important numbers a family will need to know is their EFC. This is the Expected Family Contribution, which is further defined as the amount of money a family is expected to contribute out of pocket to their student’s educational expenses. The EFC is generated by the information a family puts into FAFSA and has a direct impact on the amount of financial aid that is offered to a student. This part is simple, schools calculate their annual cost of attendance (which includes living expenses, not just tuition) then they subtract the EFC for individual students and what’s left is the financial need the college will need to package together in the form of aid and award to the student so they can pay to go to college. What is far from simple is the formula used to calculate the EFC so that’s what we’ll be looking at here.

However, I can’t possibly explain the complex formula so I’m just going to try to look at some highlights and present them in layman’s terms. First, you’re going to be using what FAFSA calls the prior prior year’s tax return (that’s not a typo). Just subtract two years for the graduation year. So, a 2020 graduate is going to use the 2018 tax return. The most critical number here is the AGI or adjusted gross income. This is the starting point for the EFC calculation—how much money do the parents make. Other financial factors that are included in the EFC are real estate holdings other than the primary residence, investments, bank and savings accounts, and educational savings such as 529 plans. Things that are not included are retirement plans like IRAs, home equity, small business values, and the cash value of life insurance policies. A tricky piece here is debt. Consumer debt like credit cards or car loans are not factored in the EFC. Nor is your mortgage. This is a really important fact because a family that has a high debt payment in whatever form is having that monthly expense ignored when they are evaluated on how much money they can contribute to a child’s education.

A student’s income and assets are also assessed as part of the EFC. So, if your child worked in the prior prior year, their information will be reflected on FAFSA as well. If fact, it is weighted more than the parents’. So, a student who is doing particularly well in their earnings is going to increase the amount a family is expected to contribute towards education faster or at a higher rate than a parent.

This is a very simplistic view of what goes into the EFC. You can go pretty far down this rabbit hole if you really want. That descent might lead you to a tax advisor who can help you plan ahead as you enter what will become your prior prior year. There may well be some things you can do financially that year or in the years that surround it to reduce your EFC, though keep in mind you’ll need to complete a new FAFSA for each year your child is in college. Therefore, any financial changes you make could just be kicking the can down the road. The good news is that for families who have a younger child who will enter college while an older child is still in college, subsequent college-enrolled children significantly impact the EFC to the advantage of parents and families.

Remembering to Get Organized

Time and again, I see one of the biggest issues teens have in the classroom is a lack of organization. This is especially true for boys who often seem reluctant to recognize that organization is a critical component of success in the classroom and in developing into an effective adult.


Here, when I say organization I’m really referring to the physical organization of things as well as the scheduling of time. A lack of organization in a student’s physical belongings leaves them unable to locate something and when they don’t keep track of the time of their commitments, they forget they are happening as well. So, in both cases the reliance on memory is kind of the crux of the problem.


I think where many teens fall down on organization is that they just don’t believe it’s necessary. After all, in the moment as I’m shoving this loose but important paper into my book bag, surely I’ll remember it’s between my gym shirt and that other blue piece of paper that’s been in my bag for three months. And, you’re telling me right now that the meeting for parents is Monday the 23rd at 6, how can I possibly forget that in the next three weeks. Well, it’s because a lot can come and go in a young person’s mind to erase those pieces of information within our short term memory. It’s difficult for young people to accept that life is getting so complicated that they must have a better way than memory alone to track what is going on. There is too much for any effective person to remember on their own and young people must track things another way.


When a lack of organization starts to impact things like a student’s grades or their involvement in extracurricular activities, it’s time for a parent to intervene. Teachers usually create systems in their class that are meant to instill good habits of organization (notebook checks, use of planners, etc.) but there is not often direct instruction in organization and when students are not forming the habits the teachers present to them, it’s critical that parents pick up the slack.


If that means requiring your child to clean out their book bag or folder every single night and sorting out what's important from what’s not, and figuring out what information goes where, then so be it. If it means, requiring your student to use a planner that better have something written for every class at the end of the day (even if it’s just “no homework”), then so be it. If teens don’t like you rooting through their book bag or if they don't like whatever consequence you impose when they don’t plan and schedule their time, then there is a really quick way to avoid those things--become organized on their own.


Consequences are crucial in the parents’ efforts to teach organization. Ultimately, the goal is to create an environment where it is more convenient for the child to develop good habits of organization than not. If you’re able to do that, your teen will slowly become an organized person, which hopefully will lead to more positive outcomes, which will reinforce the organized behaviors, and the whole effort can snowball. Make an effort to get your teen organized. It can make a big difference in their success.