Junior Year

Planning for a life after high school really needs to ramp up during junior year. The most important aspect of that is standardized testing. Remember, the two primary elements that are going to decide which college and university a student will be admitted to are their GPA and SAT or ACT scores. It is generally advisable to take the tests more than once and scores do typically rise from one testing to the next, at least to a point. I also think it is worth noting that I've never heard of a college averaging test scores if you take it too many times though this seems to be a pervasive rumor among parents. I like to see juniors take a test in the fall, a different test (SAT or ACT) in the winter, then another of the "fall" test in the spring or summer. Most people will find they like one test more than the other so I recommended students take the preferred test again at the first administration in fall of senior year. A student may even consider mixing in another test during the latter half of junior year.

        Obviously grades need to be of concern during junior year and students need to perform
well in the classroom. They also need to challenge themselves appropriately
with rigorous classes and look at taking classes in science, math, and world languages
beyond minimum requirements.

        Junior year is also about shoring up your resume. If students have not been involved
in anything, now is the time to do something. Colleges understand that not
everyone can be senior class president, and you don't have to be student of the
year to get into college. However, colleges do look for students who are not
bumps on logs and do a little more than sit around playing video games or
texting their friends.

        Of course students need to be winnowing down the list of colleges they'll be
applying to in fall of senior year. Those test scores will provide some insight
into the schools for which a student will be competitive for admissions. You
can use the College Board's college search engine at collegeboard.com to match
up your numbers with those of the colleges.

        Finally,11th grade students should really be visiting and touring the colleges at the
top of their list. Even if a student has grown up attending football games or
visiting a friend or relative on campus, it's a good idea to take an official
tour. Most people wouldn't buy a house or rent an apartment without seeing it
in person and choosing a college is no different. Fall Break, Winter Break,
Martin Luther King Jr. Day, Spring Break--whenever--get in the car and go. That
can make a huge difference in preparing the list of schools you'll apply to.

        Junior year is jam packed. Students and families need to be prepared for some
"life homework" in addition to their regular responsibilities in order to meet their goals after high school and have a smooth transition.

Sophomore Year

I explored freshman year last month and will go ahead and move through the progression in the coming months. That means I'll be discussing the 10th grade year here. Of all four years of high school, sophomore year probably has the least going on. Students should have moved past the transition period from middle school but they are not yet at the stage where activities related to college planning really step up. In a lot of ways, this is kind of an auto pilot year.

Any good pilot will tell you, though, that switching into auto pilot doesn't mean there isn't work to do. What is most important is that students continue to make good grades. They should be increasing the rigor of their schedule with classes that are appropriate for their ability level and perhaps testing the waters of honors, advanced placement, and similarly rigorous courses. Since there is not as much going on during sophomore year, students do sometimes fall into what is called the sophomore slump. It’s just an easy year to phone it in and slack. Parents should be wary of this and do what they can to keep their children motivated.

Many sophomores also have the opportunity to take the PSAT or ACT's Plan. These give most students their first taste of college entrance exams. The score they receive is generally in line with how they will score when they take the "real" tests and can be used as a first indicator of the colleges for which they'll be competitive for admission. PSAT and Plan have components that allow for the opportunity for feedback and individualized test preparation. 10th grade is certainly not too early to begin preparing for those tests that will be a focal point of junior year.

In terms of college planning, perhaps the best thing your sophomore can do is to think. This is a time when students really need to be thinking about what colleges they may see themselves attending. Do they want a big school or small? Close to home or far away? Sometimes, the writing on the wall begins to become apparent that their dream school just isn't going to happen. Again, that PSAT score is not going to be too far off from their SAT score and if they've been a low B student through a year and a half of high school, they are not going to graduate with a 4.0 GPA. So, parents and students need to become realistic with themselves and their college choices at this time. You can research some colleges that you haven't thought of before and plan to take some road trips to check them out.

Sophomore year is really all about laying the groundwork. If students operate at a high level in the classroom, start to think about life after high school, and move towards the testing that should be a focal point of their junior year, they’ll be on course for a smooth flight.

Freshman Year

   Each year of high school presents its own challenges to the student and parent as well as its own set of goals that families should strive to meet as they aim to transition to a life after high school. Of course the first of these years is freshman year and a big part of that is getting high school off on the right foot.

    I believe that the social aspect of high school plays its biggest role during the freshman year. These students find themselves right in the heart of puberty and they are currently searching to find their niche in the social scene. 9th graders recognize the fact that they are beginning a new chapter of life and that chapter will lead them into adulthood. They are often overwhelmingly preoccupied with their friends and the dynamics of friendships within groups as they struggle to create and maintain an identity.

    Unfortunately, this preoccupation often comes at the expense of academics and cutting academics short during the freshman year can create big holes on college applications. I like to remind my freshman that the GPA they have at the end of their junior year is far more important to me than the one they have at the end of their senior year. That is because students will be applying to college in the fall of their senior year, before any senior grades are in. Thus, the GPA colleges will use to determine acceptance are based on junior, sophomore, and freshman grades. So, grades from freshman year comprise a full third of one of the largest components colleges use to determine who they admit. Freshmen year matters. A lot.

    It goes without saying that doing badly during freshman year can impact the classes you take in subsequent years and the rigor of schedule is certainly something colleges examine. It should be obvious too that a student who does poorly freshman year is probably not learning all he or she can and that can impact standardized test scores.

    I think the key here is to expect some turbulent air as your child takes off for high school. Parents need to understand that the start of high school is a tough time in a young person’s life. There is likely much more they are dealing with besides what is happening in their classes and that extra social stuff might not be something freshmen are entirely forthcoming about in conversations with their parents. There is a thin line that must be walked between keeping grades up in the early goings of high school and not berating students to the point that they want to thrown their hands up and walk away from academics because the pressure of the social aspects and academic ones are all just too much.

    Be supportive of your child and understanding of the unseen struggles they are facing while patiently reinforcing good study habits. Even if freshmen year doesn’t turn out to be the best in all of high school, surviving it without being overly detrimental to post-high school goals should be considered a moral victory.

World Languages in High School

     Foreign language, more politically correctly called world language these days, is
an important part of the high school curriculum. Many are surprised to find, though,
that world languages are usually not a graduation requirement. They are, however,
most often a requirement for admission to a four year university so the majority
of high school students are encouraged to take these classes.
    With all that being said, there are several points to consider in taking
world languages.  The first thing to decide is whether to take one in the
first place. World languages can be tough. They are considered academic
electives and that means more homework, book work, etc. If you have a student
who is not performing particularly well in high school or for whom it has become
apparent that admission to a four year university directly out of high school is unlikely,
adding an academic elective may not be wise. That student could always start at
a community college which seldom requires a world language and transfer to a
four year university later.
    If you do choose to take a world language though, you'll need to decide which
language to study. Students are often limited to choose among the languages
their school offers but the advent of online educational programs means one can
look beyond their school's curriculum. It has always made sense to me to choose
a language that has some geographical or family relevance. Thus students in
Florida and Texas might benefit most from Spanish, Chinese and Japanese might be
very appropriate in the west, etc. Of course if a student has Portuguese
grandparents or a hearing impaired cousin those corresponding languages may be a
good fit.
    The last step in the process is to choose how many years of a language a
student should take. Two consecutive years of the same language is usually
considered the minimum. Taking additional language credits (preferably in the same
language, except for special circumstances) is highly coveted by colleges
and universities, however. The most competitive of those might even require
additional world language course work beyond the first two years. Therefore, it is
always a good idea to do a little research into the world language requirements
of the colleges you are interested in.
    It goes without saying that as a student moves through additional years of
their language, the classes will get harder. Like math, world languages are highly
foundational. So if a student chooses to blow off that first year in, say,
Spanish 1 and does poorly in the class,  the chances of them making it to Spanish 4 and
doing well there  are greatly diminished. Make sure your student is ready for a
world language and is prepared for a class that can truly open up the world to
them.

Time for your teen to get organized

A peek inside the book bag of many teenagers is really not so different than taking a look inside your kitchen trash can. Who knows what is shoved in there, however long ago, with little regard to what happens next. The difference is that the things in the book bag probably will be used again. The fact is, many teens and tweens struggle with organization but there is a lot that parents can do to help.

    You have to start by thinking about how personal organization evolves in a young person. Little children are not expected to be well organized. Often their teacher and parents maintain their book bag and mom or dad are completely in charge of what time practice and dentist appointments are. As a child gets older though, such responsibilities increase. By the time a child is a teenager, they have assumed the responsibility of maintaining their book bag, keeping things in their room in their place, and much of their own scheduling. What used to be keeping track of a couple of things has bloomed into a life full of responsibility. What’s more, just as adults face the harsh reality that their memory isn’t what it used to be, teens have to accept the fact that life grows too complicated to keep track of it with just their heads and without some level of organization.

    All effective adults have some way of keeping their acts together. Those methods can vary greatly from one person to the next, but they all have some format or procedure they’ve developed to keep themselves organized. Those methods probably came about over time, but they usually are effective in their own way. The unorganized and forgetful teen though has not yet figured out that he needs to be organized and has not developed his personal system to become so.

    Therefore, there comes a time in your parenting when you need to step in and say, “we have to change some habits.” It might be easiest to do this at the start of a school year and especially high school or whenever you see your student slipping sheerly due to unorganization.

    It is important to let your teen have some autonomy in the process. Don’t make them do the exact same thing you do. If you write everything down on a desk calendar and they want to use their phone’s note pad, that’s okay. The critical thing is that they are developing a way to keep track of all that they have going on. If you disagree with their methodology you can politely point out their method’s flaws and try to redirect them. This is a process that will have to have some trial and error and that can’t really be forced.

    The bottom line here is that at some point the shove-everything-loosely-into-your- book-bag-and-do-everything-else-by-memory-alone strategy is going to fall apart. When that happens, parents need to help flick the switch making teens aware that some habits needs to change in order to become effective adults. Teens will then need some assistance in developing those new habits, but they ultimately need to develop an organizational system that works for them in their life.

Your Teen's Coworkers

            It's summer time and that means many teens will be getting summer jobs. Summer jobs are great opportunities. Teens gain work experience and are able to add income that can pay for many of their own expenses. They also gain life experience in those jobs. Here, they learn the way the world works which is often quite different than the way school works. Don't show up for school, for example, and you just have to get your mom to write you a note. Don't show up to work, and you're fired.

            A great deal of that life experience comes from the interactions with other adults. Now, I'm a huge believer in the fact that young people, especially teens, need positive influence in their lives from adults that are not their parents or caretakers. Many of the issues they deal with stem from their parents in the first place and at the very least the perspective that others can provide on life outside of their family circle is invaluable and can make for a more well-rounded person.

            Whether they realize it or not, many parents have already vetted the adults in their children's lives. Grandparents, aunt, uncles, and other relatives as well as family friends and neighbors are typically known well enough by parents before they spend significant time with children and teens to know if there are any red flags. Teachers, coaches, and church staff either have extensive background checks or at least are screened before working with children as well.

            Few parents, though, typically know much about their teen's adult  supervisors or coworkers. Often, these end up being the adults that teens spend the most time with outside of their parents. However, there is no mechanism for a parent to have any sort of  background check on the other workers at, say a random restaurant or shop, that the parent has no ties to.

            I believe that 99.9% of people are more or less good natured and unless you keep your kid in a bubble you can't shelter them forever. But, you do need to be aware that these are going to be influential people in your malleable young person's life. Thus, take the time to ask your child about work and the people there the same way you do about their school day. Make some visits here and there to their work, if that is reasonable, and casually meet some of those people.

            I'm not advocating spying or witch hunting, I'm just advocating awareness of the people your child is around. Teens enjoy the company of adults and will gravitate towards them if and when they have a chance to form a bond. Be sure you're at least a little bit in the loop on who those people are.

Bullying, Hazing, and Sexual Harrassment

I’m not sure that bullying, hazing, and/or sexual harassment are any more prevalent today among young people than they were in years past. In fact, I suspect those threats may be less common than they once were. I do know, however, that the stigma attached to them particularly at the high school and middle school levels has increased significantly in recent years.

        Obviously, there are many problems associated with these three treats, but one of my biggest concerns is how I see children educated, or not educated, about the threats. Far too many children only learn these things are wrong after they have committed them or been a victim of them.

        Students and their families are doing a better job with bullying. It is really a buzzword throughout schools and education. Schools, media, and parents have done pretty well recently, I think, in making students aware of what bullying is and how to curb it. Hazing and sexual harassment are different though.

        In the latter’s case, few talk to little kids about sexual harassment. Sure, we talk about good touch and bad touch, but how many parents talk about acceptable comments and inappropriate comments? Also as children develop their sexuality, what might have been “keep your hands to yourself” in elementary school may well escalate into “okay, you just pretty much groped that person” once some sexuality has developed. It can be hard for a tween or young teenager to see the line that should not be crossed as well as an adult can, particularly when that line might not have existed as little children. Thus, adults have a responsibility to talk about that line before a young person crosses it.

        The same is true for hazing. I’ve heard hazing juxtaposed to bullying as bullying is what you do to someone you don’t like, you haze people you like. Thus, teens may fail to see that imposing their will on a consenting friend is wrong in anyway. Hazing is, in fact, wrong and increased legislation is being passed to deal with hazing in the wake of recent cases in the national news. Here again, teens may fail to realize that what they are doing is wrong if an adult never defined hazing for them or had a discussion about it.

        There are a number places where parents can find resources to feed their discussions about these threats with their children. Stophazing.org, equalrights.org, and stopbullying.gov are great places to start. As young people reach puberty, conversations about bullying, hazing, and sexual harassment need to happen at home and a lot of schools could probably do a better job of shedding light on these subjects as well. The repercussions of not having these discussions can easily lead to criminal acts committed by the child for something they never fully grasped was wrong. That can have a devastating impact on a child’s future and it can all be easily prevented with a good old fashioned talk.