Your Kid Sucks at Sports: Part 1

This blog is probably going to hurt your feelings, but there is something you need to come to terms with: your kid is a pretty average athlete. If you are paying thousands of dollars a year for your child to compete on a “club” sports team then we need talk about one of the biggest scams in America that no one seems to be talking about.

First, let me start by telling you that if your kid were that good at their respective sport, you would know it by the time they got very far along in high school. If you have dreams of your child being in the Olympics, major league baseball, or being a star college player at a major university then your child needs to possess an incredible amount of talent. That kind of talent means your child should be beating entire high school teams in middle school, breaking school records as a freshman, getting scholarship offers from private high schools, or headlining major newspapers. If your kid is that good, you are going to know it the same way you know the milk in your fridge has gone bad. It will be plainly obvious to you.

If you are still unsure about just how good your child is, here is a short list of people not to listen to: the people who you are paying thousands of dollars to coach your child. Ask yourself this question, if this person told you “eh, she’s not that good and will probably never be tall enough to make a big impact,” would you continue to pay them? The answer is probably no. That person’s income is based on you believing your child has a chance to be something great the same way a car salesman’s income is based on your belief that a car is great.

So, who is an objective voice of reason? Well, have you thought about the high school or community coach? Frankly, they are going to get paid whether or not your child is good or are doing it for free anyway. If your child can’t find a starting spot on their high school or other community team, chances are college isn’t go to go much better for them.

Now, before you start with the line of reasoning that the high school coach has a vendetta against your child or your family, stop. These coaches are just regular people who get paid a very minimal amount to coach or are doing it for fun and one of the things that is in it for them is competitive fire. That coach wants to win, believe me, and if your child is pretty good that is going to be recognized and they will play and opportunity will knock. Remember there are usually assistant coaches who have a say in the matter as well. What’s more, there is a good chance that coach, or one of the coaches, has been in the sport for a while either as a coach or player and they have seen the good and the bad. You need to accept the fact that your child might be one of the bad even if the person you pay all that money to and your child’s grandfather says otherwise. In order to accurately gauge the true ability of your child and their potential you need to eliminate the opinions of those who have a strong personal bias for your child and family or a financial interest. Then, look at the opinions of those who should be pretty neutral to your child, all things considered, including high school coaches and reporters.

There are huge financial, emotional, and academic implications to these club sports and I plan to continue this post and cover those next month. In the meantime, you need to contemplate who is telling you your child they are an amazing athlete and how good do they really think your child is.

Life Homework

As we wrap up winter break and look forward to spring break and summer break, it’s important to consider how your child can academically take advantage of that time off. At mid-year, usually at winter break, it’s a good idea to review grades and strategize. Often, GPAs are based on final averages and those are derived from the averages of first and second semester grades. Make sure you understand your schools GPA and grading policies then review grades at semester. Be certain your child understands what they need to do during the second semester to bump, say that high B, to an A for the year.

Breaks can also be an opportunity for reflection and research. This is a good time to have family discussions about college and talk about what schools your child might attend. Use tools like the College Board’s College Search Engine to research colleges based on a number of factors including size, location, cost, and intended majors. Majors themselves are worth researching as well and many sites offer information related to those including employment forecasts and pay opportunities.

Once your child reaches their junior and senior years it’s time to get in the car and go take some tours. Use breaks from school to take a family vacation and visit a handful of schools your child is interested in attending. Nearly all colleges and universities as well as vocational and community colleges offer tours in one form or another. Times and availability can vary from school to school though and availability can disappear quickly during traditional break times so check with the post-secondary schools you are interested in about their tours before you head out for your visits.

If you have an especially ambitious child, school breaks can be a good time to job shadow as well. If a student is very interested in a given career field, talk to someone you know in that industry and ask if he or she can shadow for some time over their break. Nothing can enlighten a student into what they want to do for a career so much as the opportunity to see what happens on a day to day basis within that job.

Lastly, if nothing else school breaks can be a time to take care of some school “maintenance” that might otherwise get lost in the shuffle. Use the free time to sign up for and prepare for standardized tests like the SAT and ACT. Explore the federal government’s financial aid website (fafsa.ed.gov) and estimate the financial aid you can expect. Clean out backpacks and restock school supplies. Update resumes and list accomplishments over the past semester. This will be a handy list to have when it is time to complete college and scholarship applications rather than trying to recall what you did three years ago.

Whatever the case, there is plenty to do when your child has some vacation time. Just as parents might use their vacation time to get home improvement projects done or get through some spring cleaning, your child can accomplish some things too that will put them in a better place as they move through high school. Sure, it’s important they have some time to relax and clear their heads but 90 minutes of “life homework” over a couple of weeks off won’t hurt them.